this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
