every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
