nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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