What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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