Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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