I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
