Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
