I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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