and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I have aggressive nipples.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
