Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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