Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
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You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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