Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
