yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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