If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize
