Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize