Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
