The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
