I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
