I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
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