And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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