What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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