Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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