i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
