Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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