I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
