Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize