this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
