So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
