ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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