i just made my gag reflex go away.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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