do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize
