i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
