Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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