saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
