Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she peed on how many people?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize