I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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