That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
he was CRYING into my vagina
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
