if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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