my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
