Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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