In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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