We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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