It's just like the Real World with babies
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
