Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
