your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
