i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT