So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
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after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
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for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"