Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.