You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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