Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
