So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
