My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
