Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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