How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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