can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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