Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
