Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
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I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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