Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
And then my night got REAL pukey
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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