margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
