And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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