1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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